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Lack of loyalty is one of the major causes of failure in every walk of life.

--Napolean Hill

  

No soul of high estate can take pleasure in slander. It betrays a weakness.

-- Blaise Pascal

 

When you betray somebody else, you also betray yourself.

-- Isaac Bashevis Singer

 


 


 


Don't Worry

Don't worry; he didn't pick you because you are weak or an easy target. He picked you because you have all the qualities he wants and can never have.

Alfie

Alfie is so charming, and does make you think like you are the most important thing in the world but he's not that nice, is he?

***

Personally, I've always suspected that everyone else is having a far merrier Christmas than I am.

***

But I don't have peace of mind. And if you don't have that, you've got nothing. So... what's the answer? That's what I keep asking myself. What's it all about? You know what I mean?

 

 

Look and See

One can never consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar.

-Helen Keller

Main | What's It All About »
Tuesday
Dec292009

The Blind Side

Of course we read this book. First of all, it's a sports book, which we devoured, and second it was written by Michael Lewis, who wrote one of our very favorite books, Moneyball.

I bought and read the book and then passed it on to him.  After he read it, I remember how odd it was that the only character he talked about was the woman who adopted Michael, going on and on with strange comments. 

What interested him about this book was what interested him his whole life. He didn't care about the plight of the young man or the heartwarming generosity of the family, he was only interested in their money and position and very specifically the woman.

Everywhere he went and in everything he did, he sought out people that were useful to him  - successful, or wealthy, or connected, well you get the idea and he sought out women, especially women that were married to successful men. 

I guess I shouldn't have been surprised after all I had been through with him, but he was such a master liar and manipulator and would work so hard at making me believe he had changed, but then every once in a while he would slip up and something like this would happen that made me feel kind of sick inside.

Anyway, I heard the daughter in the story interviewed on television and she said what a blessing it is to have someone come into your life that accepts you, and loves you, unconditionally.

And what a nightmare it is to have someone pretend to feel that way for years while you change your whole life and sacrifice everything for them, only to discover what they really are is your enemy, using and betraying you at every turn, and who without a moment's pause, turns their back on and attacks you.

That is what it is to be hit on your blind side in real life. The kind of betrayal that  no one can ever prepare for or imagine, and  the kind that damages you. It is the kind of damage that my abuser experienced and then turned around and inflicted upon me, the only person that ever offered him something else, who stood by him and protected his blind side.