Indiscretions - or Mental Disorder?
This is an excerpt from The Misfit Mistress' Blog - be sure to check her out!
-the other question i want to pose is what number of affairs makes the terminology shift from “indiscretions” to “mental disorder”…
i believe there are many reasons both men and women seek something outside their “legitimate” relationships… needs that need to be met, problems with communications, the need to feel like your still hot stuff, etc. but how many indiscretions and attempts and rebuilding your marriage does it take to deem the situation a mental disorder for the perpetrator? this thought has been lingering in my head lately because my psychology students are working on their mental disorder projects… so ive been immersed in personality disorder symptoms. i think about how R once told me that when him and his wife first went to counseling he “snowballed” the counselor and his wife so they got to the point where they no longer had to go… he knew what he was doing… he wasnt making an attempt to fix the marriage… but trying to get out of the counseling… this screams sociopathic behavior. same thing goes for tiger woods… while your uptight conservative god fearing type will tell you its not normal to have an affair ever… this lady who has been involved in one affair will tell you its NOT normal to have affair after affair… something is definitely wrong if thats the case… freud would argue something happened to you in your childhood… and id argue that you have some sort of personality disorder.
so what is it? whats the number that kills a marriage forever despite the fact a couple may stay together? whats the number that classifies you mentally unstable? and, most importantly to my life, is it really possible R and his wife could be truly happy… truly alive after multiple affairs on his part?
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i also had a relationship with this same guy or atleast i thought so. he came on very strong, called me constantly, wanted to see me all the time and acted head over heels. he was married so i didnt take him seriously and then when I finally bought into it and things started getting serious he started acting weird kinda mean and evasive and if i pulled away all nice again. anyway he obviously had some problems and i got away. weird though he would still call every once in a while like nothing ever happened, very creepy. glad i got away when i did sorry about what he did to u