PRETENDER:

actor, charlatan, deceiver, fake, faker, fraud, hypocrite, imitator, impostor, phony

 

Please don't lie to someone who trusts you, someone you have asked to trust you, asked to love and believe in you.  Don't lie to someone who holds and heals you.  Don't use them and strip their goodness away.  They will never be the same.

More Stories to Come

her affair

little league      the baseball bat      long walk past neighbors      

hawaii       chores         california  

I don't have any friends    

three's a crowd          lesbians  

lance to the heart      

no coaching allowed

         I'm sick of golf        buddha    

the sky is falling      walking in the rain

grocery money         fantasy life            

mother, father, sister    

  I'll pick you up   what's your sign  

tired since i met you      

you're the only one    

hey, how you doing              

 

 

One Woman's Truth

“What would happen if one woman told the truth about her life?  The world would split open.
-Muriel Rukeyser

 

Each of us has a truth of our own buried deep inside, a boundless sea of thought, feeling, emotion, upon which our outward persona sails, dark and stormy, calm and flowing, these are the currents that give us life. We humans are as fragile as any ship ever built and exposing our inner selves is not something we do naturally, an evolutional safety. Once or twice in a life time we may meet someone we feel safe enough with to open our harbor gates and let our true selves flow. It is both a thrilling and frightening voyage, and when it happens, changes us forever.

Being betrayed by someone you trust, changes you even more.

A story of betrayal is never just one story for betrayals don't come that way, they develop from a long legacy of betrayals. The person capable of betraying is incapable of certain thoughts and emotions, and operates from a deficit of character, predictably scripted by a scarcity of human bonding, repeated lacks of nurturing and acceptance.

When our reality has been shattered, we lose all faith and belief in ourselves, in life and the world around us. The one thing we all have, that no one can ever take away from us, is our truth.


 

 

Tuesday
Jan192010

Indiscretions - or Mental Disorder?

This is an excerpt from The Misfit Mistress' Blog - be sure to check her out!

-the other question i want to pose is what number of affairs makes the terminology shift from “indiscretions” to “mental disorder”…

i believe there are many reasons both men and women seek something outside their “legitimate” relationships… needs that need to be met, problems with communications, the need to feel like your still hot stuff, etc.  but how many indiscretions and attempts and rebuilding your marriage does it take to deem the situation a mental disorder for the perpetrator? this thought has been lingering in my head lately because my psychology students are working on their mental disorder projects… so ive been immersed in personality disorder symptoms.  i think about how R once told me that when him and his wife first went to counseling he “snowballed” the counselor and his wife so they got to the point where they no longer had to go… he knew what he was doing… he wasnt making an attempt to fix the marriage… but trying to get out of the counseling… this screams sociopathic behavior.  same thing goes for tiger woods… while your uptight conservative god fearing type will tell you its not normal to have an affair ever… this lady who has been involved in one affair will tell you its NOT normal to have affair after affair… something is definitely wrong if thats the case… freud would argue something happened to you in your childhood… and id argue that you have some sort of personality disorder.

so what is it? whats the number that kills a marriage forever despite the fact a couple may stay together? whats the number that classifies you mentally unstable? and, most importantly to my life, is it really possible R and his wife could be truly happy… truly alive after multiple affairs on his part?

 

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Reader Comments (1)

i also had a relationship with this same guy or atleast i thought so. he came on very strong, called me constantly, wanted to see me all the time and acted head over heels. he was married so i didnt take him seriously and then when I finally bought into it and things started getting serious he started acting weird kinda mean and evasive and if i pulled away all nice again. anyway he obviously had some problems and i got away. weird though he would still call every once in a while like nothing ever happened, very creepy. glad i got away when i did sorry about what he did to u

January 21, 2010 | Registered Commenter[Your Name Here]

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