It Looks Terrific Until It Doesn't

"Three-day weekends are awesome, right? But sometimes you get back to the office on Tuesday and there’s a voice mail from 7:30 a.m. on Saturday, and you’re like, “Jesus, who does that?"

"What would you do if you heard your phone ringing at 7:30 a.m. on a Saturday morning?  Would you think someone has died?  Would you think a telemarketer has sure picked a terrible time to pitch their horrible product?"

"The fact that she made the call at 7:30 in the morning (who makes calls at 7:30 in the morning?) is similar to some wind ups I've seen to bi-polar manias. I have no way of knowing, but many highly functioning people suffer mania.  It looks terrific until it doesn't."

These are recent quotes in the news about the phone call Ginny Thomas made to Anita Hill.  

Everyone knows it is...........not just rude to call people that early but...........weird; many questioning the psychological stability of such a person.

I have written before about my abuser who regularly complained about and criticized his wife who did this to him all the time, and he said had no problem doing it to anyone.

As usual, what ever he blamed and criticized her for, he did himself.

He was so dishonest and covert about what he did.....but I did catch him sometimes. I came to learn that he had no compunction whatsoever about calling someone at any time, day or night, 7 am, 11pm or 3am.  He was ruthless about the telephone and fixated - always - on his needs and anxieties. Typical behavior of the personality disordered.

And then there was the instance (one of many) with a female colleague of his. She didn't work in his office but was someone in a higher position than him and like all the women who's "favors" he sought, whether personal or professional, he systematically cultivated a "relationship" with her.

One morning this woman called him at 7:00 in the morning.  I was with him all the time, no one ever did this, except his wife he was separated from. It was very unusual, no one he worked with ever did this and, they did not actually work together.

This happened after I discovered his lying and cheating and after him professing to be a changed man. I asked him about the call and of course he put me through the same old routine - of acting stupid, minimizing and denying.

The most important fact is that he lied about and hid every single "relationship" or interaction of any kind with women. It took me a long time to realize that while he made hundreds of phone calls a week when he was with me, they were all to men, and he made all the calls to women when I was not there. It did not matter who they were, what they did or the importance or insignificance of the call.  That is because every woman was a target for him.  

As is the case with most personality disordered, eventually their duplicity reveals itself and eventually I heard him make a few calls to women.

Well, what I heard