I Wish I Had Died Before I Met You

My heart bleeds tears
down my face,
my body barely contains
the pain
of my life being a lie.

A stranger inside
my soul rejects itself,
struggles to survive
each day
till night falls
with its quiet solace.

I want to be left alone,
I don’t want to be tricked,
I don’t want to be used,
I am not here for the taking,
for the raping -
of my dignity and worth.

I wish I had died before I met you,
when my life was my own.
There may at times, have been hardship or hurt
but I knew what was real,
I knew who I was,
I trusted and believed,
I was grateful
for everything, the good and the bad,
I did not fear the world
or other people.

That girl is gone.
You killed her.