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Rapture of Living
Once I knew only darkness and stillness...my life was without past or future...but a little word from the fingers of another fell into my hand that clutched at emptiness, and my heart leaped to the rapture of living.

-Helen Keller

Listen, are you breathing just a little and calling it a life?

~Mary Oliver

I Am Awake

When the Buddha started to wander

around India shortly after his

enlightenment, he encountered

several men who recognized

him to be a very extraordinary being. 

They asked him, "Are you a God?" 

"No," he replied. 

"Are you a reincarnation of God?" 

"No," he replied. 

"Are you a wizard, then?" 

"No." 

"Well, are you a man?" 

"No." 

"So what are you?" they asked, being very perplexed. 

"I am awake." 

Buddha means "The Awakened One".

How to awaken is all he taught.

 


Friends

Lack of loyalty is one of the major causes of failure in every walk of life.

--Napolean Hill

  

No soul of high estate can take pleasure in slander. It betrays a weakness.

-- Blaise Pascal

 

When you betray somebody else, you also betray yourself.

-- Isaac Bashevis Singer

 


 


 


saying sorry

Sorry may be the hardest word - but scientists claim it could be one of the healthiest.

Researchers have discovered that women who receive an apology for hurtful behaviour suffer less stress and potential damage to their heart than those who don't.

-Daniel Boffey from MailOnline

I believe
"I believe that imagination is stronger than knowledge -
That myth is more potent than history,
I believe that dreams are more powerful than facts -
That hope always triumphs over experience -
That laughter is the only cure for grief.
And I believe that love is stronger than death."
 -- Robert Fulghum 
Awareness

There is only one good, knowledge, and one evil, ignorance.

Socrates

 

Let us not look back in anger or forward in fear, but around in awareness.

James Thurber

 

Very few people really see things unless they've had someone in early life who made them look at things. And name them too. But the looking is primary, the focus.

Denise Levertov

 

A religious awakening which does not awaken the sleeper to love has roused him in vain.

Jessamyn West (The Quaker Reader, 1962)

 

The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers.

M. Scott Peck

 

The miracles of the church seem to me to rest not so much upon faces or voices or healing power coming suddenly near to us from afar off, but upon our perceptions being made finer, so that for a moment our eyes can see and our ears can hear what is there about us always.

Willa Cather (Death Comes for the Archbishop, 1927)

 

We must learn to reawaken and keep ourselves awake, not by mechanical aid, but by an infinite expectation of the dawn.

Henry David Thoreau

 

The unexamined life is not worth living.

Socrates

 


 

 

 

relationships

Often times when he gets into a relationship, or married, he ends up choosing very strong, overbearing, controlling women. Remember, what I said, people often pick the opposite of themselves, and then it gets them off the hook for ever having to learn how to be strong, and assertive themselves. This is where the problem begins. Because he has chosen to be with this Witch on Wheels, he can never directly confront her with ANYTHING. He is too scared. This ends up effecting friends, other family members, and anyone involved with this type of man. This is the so-called passive part of his problem.


The aggressive part of this disorder ends up not only hurting him, but the woman he is with. No matter how mad he gets at her, he is NOT going to stand up for himself, or tell her how he feels. He is too scared to say a word. What this man will do, is while being the all-loving nice guy and doing the housecleaning, he will do it ineptly. He will sneak behind her back, to see other women, friends, and to do things he especially knows would make her angry. It's the only way he knows how to stand up for himself. You can imagine how damaging to a relationship this can be. Unfortunately, because he does all these things in private, it may be along time, if ever, when she figures it out. She really does believe he will always be the nice doormat she fell in love with. This definitely works to his benefit.


Last but not least, this seriously hurts the man who is passive-aggressive, more than anyone else. He never learns to assert himself, and never develops the self-esteem to say, "this is who I am", out loud. Although he feels some momentary exhilaration when getting back at someone, he also feels deep shame, that he is not being a real man. He can suffer with depression at times, wondering who he is, and will anyone ever really know him. He is stuck in limbo. He's afraid to be who he wants to be for fear of losing the woman who may be the mother of his children. At the same time, he's not even sure why he married her anyway. After all, isn't she just there to make up for his inability to do for himself? That may just be the case.

 

Although most of the time the passive- aggressive man appears to be a quiet, nice, helpful, boy scout kind of guy, he truly is a very hurtful person. He hurts his friends, his partner, his family, and anyone else on his, quietly, secret, destructive path.

 

Main | Trauma & Recovery: Telling Your Story »
Sunday
Sep192010

Pathologicals & Legal Problems

Relationships with pathologically disordered people often result in legal problems because by nature of pathology pathologicals are uncooperative, litigious, and control-oriented. These relationships and legal battles are often referred to as “High Conflict” cases.

Partners of pathologicals need every insight and advantage they can to make inroads into their own cases with these high conflict and high drama persons.

Legal situations with pathologicals are often the very cases that books are written about–full of drama, sabotage, and suffering. Add to this, battle-weary partners who have had to fight on every small detail that normal people don’t fight about, and you have partners who need specialized assistance by professionals who understand pathology and how these pathologicals will act in court cases.

Partners can be battle-weary and also traumatically affected by Post Traumatic Stress Disorders and other anxiety related disorders due to their relationships with the pathological. 

Excerpt from: http://saferelationshipsmagazine.com/legal-ctr/navigating-the-legal-sytem

 

More on this important subject............

 

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