A Little at a Time
"Stop lovin' me, a little at a time
Let me lose you, a little at a time
Walk away slow, like you don't want to go
For my benefit, try to cry a little bit"
This is one of my favorite old Johnny Cash tunes, it has the sweetest melody. One day I was singing it as we were driving along and he reached over and touched my hand and stopped me. I don't like that song he said. I was surprised and said really, how come and kept on singing.
"For old times sake, give me a slow heartbreak
I'll put up a fight, but I'll be all right
If you'll stop loving me, a little at a time
Hurt me a little at a time, turn me away a little at a time"
He called my name very softly and then said - please don't sing it anymore. I thought he was joking but when I turned and looked at him I could see that he was dead serious. He had a very sad, pained look on his face. What is it I asked, what's wrong?
I don't like hearing you say those things he said, and then in an even softer voice, I just ..... I know you're probably going to leave me someday and ..... I don't ever want you to.
Why do you think that, I asked. I don't know he said, I'll do something to mess things up. It doesn't have to be that way I told him, you can change and create whatever you want.
He was always amazed by my ability to be upbeat and positive whatever the circumstance and he just looked at me and said - you could be with with anyone, a doctor, lawyer, why would you want to be with me? This was very rare, he never asked something so directly.
It's not about that I said, people are people and I don't care what someone does or what they did in the past, I just want something that is real, I want to be who I truly am with someone who sees me and knows me and feels the same way. All I ask, is that you be who you truly are, be real and be honest, please, I don't want to waste any of the life I have left and I don't want to play games or hurt anyone else.
He told me he wanted the same things and what he said all the time; that he couldn't believe how lucky we were to have found each other and this love that most people spend their whole life searching for and never get to experience.
Watch Johnny sing "A Little at a Time" on YouTube :
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