Birth Day

I wanted to know what time of the day he was born so he picked up the phone and called his mother on the spot. I think she was use to more practical conversations with him and a little surprised by the question. She had to think for a minute and couldn't remember the exact time but said it was around midnight. And then she said something that he had never heard before and that left him speechless. She recalled that because of daylight savings time, the hospital had adjusted the time of his birth. A serious look came over his face and he stopped her and said "wait, mom, are you saying that I was actually born on my Grandfather's birthday?" She said yes very matter of fact and he couldn't believe he had never heard this story before now.

He had a mystical look on his face when he hung up the phone and told me about it. He said "I knew it, I always knew I was  born on my Grandfather's birthday. Growing up I always felt it was supposed to be that way and that somehow they were all wrong." It was one of those wonderful moments, and very rare ones, when you feel the absolute certainty of something, and feel in touch with something very powerful deep inside yourself. We had a lot of those moments.

Last year the day before his birthday we played golf and spent the day together, like we always did, and that night he went to a game or his friends house, and called me late, after 11 while he drove home. I left him a message at midnight to mark the start of his day. We hit golf balls and got something to eat and took it back to the townhouse on his birthday. I had made him a cake and gave him his other gifts. The next morning when he called I asked him what he did that night and he said the same thing he did every week, played cards. I asked him if they went to dinner first or did anything special over there, had a cake or anything and he said no, they didn't even know it was his birthday.  He told me his marriage was an arrangement and a sham, but no dinner or cake?  I was mystified by this and of course felt very sorry for him. I don't know what is true now, and if he was lying, then shame on him.

His first birthday after he moved out he was coming back from a work trip and worried that his son wouldn't remember or call him even. He had a tendency to feel very sorry for himself, nursing hurts from long ago, but I knew how difficult this was for him, or any man being away from his child, and assured him that his son would remember which of course he did. And of course I was there, the way I always was, even though my life was busy and hectic with many more people to look after, with gifts and balloons and cake, a spice cake that I made and he said he couldn't remember the last time he had a homemade one. And of course with my time, my effort, my attention, my ready smile and words of encouragement, to try and make up for what he had never had - to feel loved and special.

And for a brief moment in time, he was.