Glistening Stars on a Dark Blue Backdrop

I was surprised but happy when he called to say he was on his way over. It had already been a perfect day and I wanted him to spend as much time as possible with his father, but it was Valentine's Day and he wanted it to be special. When he arrived I opened the door and hugged his neck like I always did when he came to see me ..... and this time he came bearing gifts. I was surprised and asked when he found time to go shopping. He said he went to the local jewelry store downturn after he left me at the hotel. I was even more surprised when I opened the small perfectly wrapped box. It was a necklace, a silver chain with a double heart pendant, two silver hearts interconnected with a small tear shaped diamond at the top. It was so beautiful and I was very impressed at what a good job he did picking it out. I thanked him and hugged his neck again and he said he had something else for me, it was another necklace, a traditional cameo with a lighthouse on it, perfect to remember our trip by.

I gave him the present I had for him and he said he wanted to take me out to dinner. I told him we didn't need to, it had been a long day and he had already taken his father out to eat earlier, and I would be just as happy staying in with him and ordering room service. But he had a special place he wanted to take me that he had been telling me about for years and wanted to show me this downtown. So I changed my clothes and put on a new navy blue sweater that would show my necklace off perfectly. I held my hair up so he could put it on for me and when I turned around to show it to him he said it was beautiful and I could tell he was happy that he had done so well and that I liked it.

The downtown was beautiful at night, the buildings eclectic and different from anything I had seen. It was a clear crisp night, the sky reminded me of my necklace and sweater, glistening stars on a dark blue backdrop, and on the ground the buildings and waterfront sparkled just as brightly with lights. The restaurant was a famous city landmark with beautiful views of the harbor. The owner was there chatting with customers, the waiter filled us in on some of the history and made sure we had a good time. 

We ordered some wine, sat beaming at each other and talked all about our day. The neighborhood you grew up in is so charming and adorable I told him, the small perfectly maintained white and pastel painted houses laid out on a little grid around a park and schools, churches, the ocean all nearby. I knew he had grown up in small town Americana, but he never portrayed it that way, never used words that were flattering or complimentary. I don't know why, he said, but you're right, I never thought about it that way but seeing it through your eyes today, I saw it all. He had a lot of great memories from growing up but he also had a lot of painful ones that he still wasn't ready to face and all that long buried turmoil and frustration was a dark cloud that had followed him around his whole life and whose shadow cast a veil of gloom and resentment that obscured his view of the world.

It's like Mayberry I told him, and you know who you are don't you? He shook his head no and I said, Opie of course. He gave that big laugh of his and said you're right. He was wearing the brown cashmere sweater I gave him one Christmas and looked very handsome. I told him how glad I was that he insisted we go out for dinner and he told me how proud he was to be there with me, the prettiest woman in the room. We finished our dinner and dessert, chocolate of course, and went back to the hotel. We laid down for a while until I made him go for fear we would fall asleep and his father would wonder where he was in the morning.

He spent the next day with his father and I relaxed and worked out and then went to the mall across the street. I decided to walk from the bookstore across the parking lot to a restaurant and by the time I made my way around all the piles of snow and got there it was snowing hard. Before I could think about how I was going to get back he called and was there to rescue me, something he had done many times in the past. We shared a pizza and went back to the hotel and watched a movie. He told me all about his day going to his father's favorite spots for breakfast and lunch and of course all the people he ran into that he knew. We talked about things he could do with his father and he said he was thinking of taking him to the state basketball tournament and I thought it was a great idea and looked up the times for him.

He called the next morning and said his father's thumb and hand were badly swollen and thought he had gout. He said he was putting heat on it but was in a lot of pain and didn't want to go to the doctor yet. I was worried about him and got online and did some research. I called him back and told him it did sound like gout and that he should use ice instead of heat or at least alternate it, take anti inflammatories and not aspirin, and to go to the store and get preparation-h to reduce the swelling and fresh cherries to reduce the uric acid in his body which is what brings on gout. I was concerned he might not get the cherries because they would probably be expensive in the winter and warned him of it, but also reminded him how special it would make his father feel and how little time he had left to do that.

He also said he wasn't going to go to the game because he was worried he wouldn't be able to spend time with me. I told him that was ridiculous, his father was his first priority and insisted he go. I had always encouraged him in his relationships with his family and friends and given him the freedom to do all the things he wanted. He knew I was genuine, that if I told him something I meant it and wouldn't play games or hold it against him later, that I truly didn't mind and would be perfectly happy entertaining myself. He knew who I was and what was important to me because I lived it with him every day, I showed him who I truly was, he saw how I treated others, what I valued and knew he could count on my goodness, unselfishness and support. Such simple things that until now I never realized how precious they are and took them for granted with the people in my life who did the same.

He on the other hand had not had the same kinds of relationships but from the beginning had convinced me he wanted to and we were continually working on and striving for it. He was used to controlling his relationships and environment however he could, whether it was through heartfelt support or manipulation and superficialness, as long as he got what he wanted it was all the same to him. What he wanted was the problem, but not for the obvious reasons, he wasn't evil or uncaring (well not completely) what he wanted above all was to avoid feelings and emotions that were painful, and just about all of them were. He thought by keeping things light and avoiding issues with any depth or substance, he could get the control and security he needed in all his relationships. 

The things on the surface, the hurtful behaviors and ways of interacting provided the wall that he needed and was taught to put in place at an early age. And just as he was taught, most people focused on the surface issues. I wasn't like that and I think partly why he was drawn to me. I didn't care about or want to waste time on the surface stuff, I just wanted to be myself all the time and surround myself with people felt the same, because that is what creates true positive energy and happiness. 

The treatments did help his father and he did especially like the cherries. They decided to go to the game and invited a family friend to come along, so off he went with two eighty some year olds into the city to watch the same state championships they had so many years ago. They went to dinner and had a great time, he said they were funny, cracking jokes about their guys outing and their age. The adventure continued when they came out of the auditorium and discovered his car had been towed. It was dark and cold and they had a little trouble figuring out where it was but eventually retrieved it. He felt bad but it really was an adventure and gave them a shared experience to look back on and laugh about later.

I was proud of him because he handled it well, some of the things we worked on had taken hold and he had begun to see that you can choose how you react to everything, and he made the best of it and I think could feel the respect of his father and friend for doing so. They didn't get back until late and I told him he didn't need to drive back to see me. We were flying home the next day and he was going to pick me up early so we could do something before driving to the airport.

Next, the trip home.........