Proud Moment

What a proud moment it must have been for him. The highlight of his life. All the women he used, lives he disrupted, people lied to and manipulated, the slights, grudges and revenge, all just preparation for this defining apocalyptic peak of shamefulness. 

Years and years spent honing the craft of lying and pretending to be something and someone you are not. And now, sitting in front of another human being, an attorney, asking him to attack and threaten a woman, after he has used and abused her.

Even between an attorney and a client, how does one man hold his head up after asking for such a thing. Make a joke of it, huh, huh, you know how it is. Big joke, proud man, destroying people and lives. Act pitiful, oh, I'm just doing what I have to, blame the other person, it's what he's done his whole life.

How about I'm not man enough to handle what I created, period. I am not enough of a man. I cower and break into a sweat in fear of one woman, but I need you to attack a woman who accepted me just how I am, and has never been unkind to anyone. And I want you to send it every way that mail can be sent-wow, how very clever, and how very considerate of my children. Wonder how many conversations they had, how many hours spent deciding just how many ways to threaten. 

He always felt inferior, said he had always carried a giant chip on his shoulder and thought he never got the success or recognition he deserved. So he pretends and panders to fool people in search of their approval, or else judges and criticizes them. He knows the truth about himself, but it is too painful to think about and much easier to cling to the lies.  

If there is one recurring theme in their lives, it is let's tear everyone else down to make us feel better about ourselves. And their other theme, let's make everything about money and ignore all other human values. 

What he doesn't know is that everyone sees who he is and what he has done, and we are all embarrassed for him because he is too selfish and sick to be embarrassed for himself.